In a time like this, you take one look at the news and you:
Click on all the links and read the comments to make sure you are fully informed and thinking critically.
Avert your eyes, then gently but firmly state a boundary to those nearby that you cannot share a room with news content in this season.
Immediately tell someone what the fuck you just read about these fucking clowns.
Notice a buzzing between your ears and everything goes a little green, as though some ghoulish children’s-YouTube video were living in your brain. Take a nap to resolve this.
In a time like this, your to-do list consists of: