You’ve heard it before, folks: a nutritious breakfast is so good for your health that skipping it is basically a crime against the body. Plus, what excuse do you have these days to not finally embrace the art of the most important meal of the day?

(If you’re an essential worker, share this post with anyone living in your household, two-legged or four-, and tell them to get to work. You, my friend, need a thank-you omelet).

I’m going to make myself an elegant fried-egg sandwich while we chat. 

There’s something just so loving, so intrinsically self-caring, about having a breakfast that is not only balanced, but also delicious and aesthetically pleasing. 

Okay, the pan is warm and slightly greased; now to crack the eggs. 

I wish that had gone slightly better. They say the best way to fish bits of shell out of a cracked egg is with the rest of the shell. Scooping gently to get that little guy out—

Hmm, crash and burn. I guess maybe it will be just an ever-so-slightly crunchy fried egg. It’s good luck, like when you get the baby in the King Cake at Mardi Gras, right? 

Anyway, I always like a nice combination of eggs and some kind of carbohydrate, whether it be an egg sandwich or egg wrap. But if you don’t eat eggs, or just want some variety, the sky’s the limit! How about some oatmeal with fruit and spices? Or toast and peanut butter with sliced fruit? I can’t think of any other kinds of breakfast, but they probably exist.

I thought I had some nice bread, but I was wrong. Looks like I’ll be using these old tortillas I froze a while ago.

CEREAL! That’s the other main category of breakfast. Personally, I always forget it exists, because I think of it as basically human kibble and/or cold flavorless dairy soup. But many people do indeed find this pleasurable. 

Hmm, it’s hard to separate frozen tortillas from the stack. Maybe just gently pull? No, that tore. Maybe I need a knife.

Oh god. Tortilla stabbing incident. Well, too late. I’ll just warm this cross-shredded tortilla in the toaster.

Okay, this egg looks like a nice sunny-side up. I’m going to move it to the plate.

Whoops—I mean—flip it. Yes, I’m sure I meant to flip it. Over-easy is more my style, anyway. 

Once this is all plated, it will be fun to just sit and appreciate it for a moment. Let’s just check on how the over-easy is coming—

Oh, that egg was fragile. Maybe we’ll just….

Yeah, it’s a scramble now. Scramble is nice. A little tidier to eat than a runny yolk, anyway.

There goes the toaster. Just need to pull the shredded tortilla out. That does seem like a bit more smoke than I anticipated, and a little less tortilla than I remember going in. Oh well. Just toss the singed tortilla ribbons onto a plate and wrap them around the scramble. Call it a Cubist burrito. 

Finally, especially if you find yourself stuck at home with a bit more time on your hands, why not try out some new flavors? If you usually stick with simple salt and pepper, why not branch out into some other herbs and spices you may not generally use? I’m going to grab this mixed spice shaker—

Hmm, upon reflection, maybe “Everything But The Bagel” seasoning is a little weird for a burrito, but there it is…

Mmm, delicious. All the slightly burnt, bagel-y, unintentional-scramble tastes you love from a takeout breakfast burrito, but right in your home kitchen. 

Now to eat this on the couch in pajamas and then watch the clock forlornly until lunch.